Why do you keep bashing yourself? You critic your body, your performance at the things you do to develop your life, the clothes you wear, everything – until it becomes an obsession.
How does criticizing help you; unless you are doing so intentionally?
We all aspire to be the best we can be. And analysing ourselves is a tool for measuring our efforts and achievements. While this is an excellent way to look at ourselves and measure how well we are doing, it can get in the way and metamorphose into over-valuation.
What happens when over-valuation takes place?
You become dissatisfied with yourself and your achievements. You feel if you are unable to do something a certain way you wouldn’t do it all. Even when you are experiencing positive results you find flaws.
Your standards are impossibly high. This is not to say you shouldn’t set standards for yourself. However, in doing so always ensure they are adequately high and achievable.
You concoct scenarios that are not there and obsess over them. This can result in self-doubt and self-criticism.
Self-criticism can affect one’s self-esteem, assertiveness, opinions, and eventually your self-worth, and your mental health.
Occasional self-criticism is a normal part of life. However, when it becomes excessive – it’s a cause for concern.
Self-criticism can be used for identifying strengths and weaknesses and personal development.
“The trouble with most of us, is that we would rather be ruined by praise than saved by criticism.”
Norman Vincent Peale
Drawbacks of self-criticism.
- When given feedback you respond defensively.
- Have a hard time accepting compliments
- Your perception are that of black and white
- Avoid expressing your opinion
- Overly self-aware and observant of details
- Build up resentment
- Fearful of challenges
- You constantly question your authenticity
- You are always anticipating “what ifs”
- You are triggered when corrected because you presume you are not performing as expected.
You might be asking, “so how do I manage my inner critic?”
First of all, non-constructive criticism is never a good thing.
The problem with self-criticism is that it impedes your effort to grow and develop. It leaves us confined and never exploring new options and living a meaningful life.
If you want to transform your mind and thoughts, begin by recognizing what is holding you back and try to understand where those thoughts originate from. You can also seek professional help if you find it hard to deal with.
Those negative thoughts you have may not even be present in your head. They might come and go all the time. Get a journal and make a note of them so you can see how they affect you.
Let it all out.
Understanding where your criticism comes from is vital. The environment you were brought up in. The school you attended. Were you bullied? Look at this issue genuinely and wholeheartedly. And don’t forget verbal abuse. Anything that makes you feel less of a human or angry and worthless. This is your past. Look at it from all angles.
These are some of the negative experience that contributes to a limited belief.
Take that journal and write down your pain and experience.
What belief have you adopted as a result of your experience? What are your insecurities and fears?
Change is difficult but we can change the way we interpret what we hear from others. And I said that to say this, be mindful of your circles – the quality of people you are around. Sometimes they are no good for us. Take stock.
Forgiveness. You don’t have to meet someone face to face to forgive them. Try to understand them. Keep an open mind. I know it’s not your job to fix them, but it’s your job to fix your damn self.
When you can view the world in a way to understand, it becomes easier for you to get through life.
Let go of the words that was thrown at you. These are the words that dominate your mind making you believe “you are your worst critic.” In this case, you’re not.
Adopt a new perspective and what you want for yourself. What you don’t want for yourself change it. Even after your “house cleaning,” there will be things you don’t like about yourself. What would you do? What you cannot change try to manage and accept it.
Focus on becoming the best version of yourself and leaving your past behind. And don’t forget to laugh at yourself.
How do you deal with self-criticism? Tell us in the comments below.
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