How many of you have dreams that are left undone or still lingering in your mind? Dreams of travelling the world, exploring new cultures, learning a new language and managing your own business that will catapult your life into an amazing and exciting one. However, time pass and you realize that your plans have fallen through the cracks. Or how about that time when you had those great ideas and ambitions, but for some reason, that’s all they were?
You’re not alone. I have been there! And I know exactly how you feel. It was not until a few years ago certain circumstances compelled me to re-examine my entire life. Yes! It was time for me to stop harbouring ideas and concealing plans. This was the punch I needed to re-invent my life.
Tonight, as I write, I would like to say I am proud to sit here and write this story on my blog and also thank you for coming here as I intend to inspire and empower you on your journey to move forward in confidence and live your best life.
It is important for you to understand why you want to re-assess your life, what you want moving forward, and how you will go about making those changes. This will be the stepping stone for everything else that follows and functions as a guide when you are ready to apply the changes that are important to your life.
For those of you who are currently on your self-improvement journey or have started and is feeling stuck, your mindsets are a vital aspect of your life. The right mindset changes everything because it totally changes your perspective. It is important to note that your mindset doesn’t have to be set in stone. You can change your attitude anytime to reflect the way you want your life to be. When I first started, one of the books I read was Mindset: How You Can Fulfill Your Potential written by Carol Dweck while reading this book I learned about two mindsets. In her book, she tells us we can change the way we think and fulfil our potential. Below I share with you briefly the two kinds of mindsets.
Growth Mindset And Fixed Mindset
A Growth Mindset
A growth mindset embraces challenges. It understands that hard work is required in order to grow and develop. It acknowledges that it’s never too late to learn. It believes that errors are a part of learning. It understands its purpose and focuses on long term vision. It is grateful and celebrates the successes of others. For instance, a person with a growth mindset believes that failure is a learning opportunity.
A Fixed Mindset
Conceal its flaws to avoid judgement. It is constrained by beliefs. It assumes abilities and understanding are fixed. It does not believe that intelligence can be improved. It believes it is too late to learn. It is threatened when others succeed. For example, someone with a fixed mindset believes that a great soccer player is one with a fixed trait.
10 Ways to Shift Your Mindset
Meditation is something everyone can do. When I first started meditating, I couldn’t sit still but as time went by I took the challenge regardless of its difficulty. I could barely do five minutes – then ten minutes, but I did it anyway. Since then I have found that meditation has great benefits. Now I have graduated to one hour. Damn! I am so proud of myself. That means so much to me because I have had issues with concentrating and this is one of the reasons why I started meditating. Ladies, if you want to change your life you have to change your mindset and I believe that meditation plays a vital role towards this end. Since I have been practising meditation consistently, it has liberated my mind from attachments and brought deeper relaxation, greater self-awareness and it has helped me develop a better understanding of myself.
Retrain Your Mind by Noticing Little Changes
As I said before, meditation is an important aspect of reframing your perspective. This might seem hard but we should not allow fear to stop us from achieving our goals. Learn to observe your thoughts and cultivate a habit of observing small changes as you go along each day, that is positively impacting you and the people around you. By noticing small changes it will help you to adapt to bigger changes that are to come. When recognizing this you will be able to see things as an opportunity for growth.
Prioritize Personal Development
Think about where you want to be in three years in every area of your life and ensure you begin with long term goals. Spend time on developing a skill or expanding your business or continuing your education or whatever you may have in mind. All this can be very challenging but it is a part of the process and will be your lesson to embrace change. Prioritizing personal development means you will have to shift your priorities. They should be selected based on the order of importance and try to determine the necessary over unnecessary. Remember, to keep the process simple.
Bury The Dead
The thing about bringing about effective change is that part of you, that tells you you can not make it. Do not hold yourself back from a better future by entertaining the past. Whether it is over that divorce, that breakup or that time when you tried improving your life and failed. Don’t let it choke your opportunity to succeed. Once you accept your past, forgive yourself, pull up your big girls’ pants and wipe those tears. Embrace the change. You are limitless. You can extraordinary.
Change Your Self-Talk
Get the negative committee out of your head. Your future depends on you and the decisions you make. The way you think and your belief system affects everything in your life. Your mind, your emotions, your action and the way you react to things around you. To achieve your goals make sure your mindset is aligned with your aspirations. Otherwise, it restricts you from getting to that place where you want to be.
If you tell yourself you are not capable of accomplishing your goals your mind will create the reality and it will impede on your desire to live the life you want. Change the negative self-talk into positive ones and empower your speech. It works!
Read More Books
“Books train your imagination to think big.” Taylor Swift
Reading expands your understanding and analytical abilities. It increases our intelligence and boosts our vocabulary and brainpower. I know a few people who do not like reading. How many of you do not like to read? Ladies, if you want to fulfil your purpose you have to develop a habit of reading. This is part of your journey and is vital in improving your communication skills.
Begin by reading for ten minutes every day and this will eventually open up an entirely new world for you. Reading has helped me to improve my concentration and widened my scope of knowledge. Get that book and see the potential for change and improvement. In a later post, I will be sharing more of the books I’ve read with you.
Focus On The Positive
“Positive thinking” can feel cliche but its overall benefits have been vouch for by many people. A positive mindset can improve your mood and confidence. Imagine if you were to develop a positive mind towards building your goals; what effect it would have on your life? This doesn’t mean you will always be in a positive mood there will be those days when nothing would seem right; this is when you need to stay focused on the positive.
I mentioned earlier positive self-talk and being optimistic. Remember, while focusing on your improvement you will encounter challenges. Ask yourself “How will this benefit me?” If you feel stuck try engaging yourself in things that will boost your energy i.e. listening to your favourite music or podcast or even going for a walk. Don’t forget to spend time with positive people. Negative elements are always a source of an exaggerated imagination of a situation we may not be able to control. Accept the stones that may be thrown your way because we cannot control everything in life, and try to cultivate an attitude of positivity.
Face Your Fears
Was there ever a time you were asked to do something and you refuse because you are too scared to do it? What was your excuse? How did you feel afterwards?
I have had the worst experience while I was growing up. I use to agree to sing at the Christmas concert then cancel on the day of the concert because merely thinking about it give me a panic attack. It was crippling. Like other emotions, fear will mean different things to so many different people. If you do not overcome your fears you will never be able to move forward.
I like to believe we face fears for a reason. It helps us to grow, but not if we cancel engagements. If you are placed in a situation that requires you to stand before a group or crowd of people how would you react? The goal is to face your fears. Don’t try to act perfect. Remind yourself there are people who will be listening to you and are wishing they can do what you are doing. Let this empower you.
If you are not at risk if it won’t kill you, or you can ask yourself “what is the worst that can happen?” By seeing fear as a natural emotion you can see it as the obstacle to move you forward. Sounds easy but it is not. Just Breathe.
Have A Long Term Vision
A long term vision is important and ensures that you do not try to change the direction your life is heading, and create discomfort for yourself. It serves as a purpose to align your plans in order to achieve success.
Here are five ways to develop a long term vision.
- Determine your strenghts
- Understand your personal values
- Write a personal Statement
- Evaluate your current circumstances
- Ensure you have long term priorities
Having a long term vision gives you something to strive for and focus on. It also shapes the direction of our lives and requires time and planning, For instance, you can have a long term goal to improve your lifestyle by a specific age or it can be to develop a career plan. Remember, a long term vision holds your values and gets you on the path toward your goal.
Drop Negative Friends
Misery spreads like a plague when you are hanging around people that are unhappy and jealous. It’s a win for them to see you drown in it. As you progress, one of the things you’ll encounter is the decision to get rid of the negative people in your life who aren’t going anywhere.
Here are 5 Ways To Level-up Your Friends’ Circle
- Avoid friends with toxic behaviour. These people are victim players. Many times they are dealing with their own demons.
- Stop entertaining people who only come around when they can be entertained. True friends give as much as they take.
- Avoid judgemental and hyprocritical people. They are bad for mental and emotional health.
- People who trash talk you behind your back. You know, the ones who celebrate your failures and mistakes. The ones who project their own short comings upon others. The ones who basked in their low self-esteem.
- The ones who competes with you all the time and are bitter.
The Dramatic and Jealous
When you are happy and doing well you will encounter people who are shallow and superficial. They mess with your head and live for gossip. Such friendships do not make a balance. It is unhealthy for you. Remember, quality is better than quantity.
“Just don’t give up trying to do what you really want to do. Where there is love and inspiration, I don’t think you can go wrong.” Ella Fitzgerald
In conclusion, challenge yourself to become the best version of yourself. Become limitless and set your intentions. Have a strategy to grow and develop in your area of interest. If you are struggling and find yourself overworked, take a step back. The old adage says “Rome wasn’t built in a day”. Rest and play are important to reduce fatigue of the mind and prepare you for moving ahead. This will take time, so be wary of instant gratification syndrome.